I am quite a stickler for plans. As someone who has been using a systems approach for my goals, day-to-day responsibilities, and even attempts on vacation, passion projects and more, I have an idea on what to do and how to do certain acts because I’ve already thought about it. At the start of my day, I always check my schedule that is spread out to the last minute. When I go over my tasks, I always am aware of possibilities as I make a move in order to realign myself to achieving my goals. It even comes to a point that I do my best to do more things within a certain time frame for me to have more time and space for contingencies and other responsibilities to get ahead on everything. However, even I (who’s obsessed with plans and systems) cannot escape unexpected variables and experience changes that I’m not even aware of.
For example, I was planning to finish my studies on time; and, here I am, already working and waiting for the right moment to get that degree. I was aiming to do Youtube for so many years; but, things never really aligned, and here I am writing on my own website – a thing I never expected myself to do. I’ve always targeted saving enough money for me to have my own place before the age of 25; but, unforeseen circumstances happen. And, it’s okay. By this time, I’m already accustomed with it (even though, there are moments that I find myself shocked on the things that show up at my front door) because I realized that there’s no point with resisting and not being one with the only thing that is constant in the world.
I believe that the reason why we are so afraid of change is that most of us don’t really understand what it is while some are afraid to face it. We have been facing so much chaos and stress in our lives that experiencing its inevitability seems to be our last trigger before all hell breaks loose and our minds break down. We hold onto what is and was because it reminds us of how fast “time” goes for us to reach our own end. We are so obsessed on being comfortable with the past and nostalgia that we don’t even realize that we slowly decay into nothingness because of such reliance. Therefore, let this serve as a reminder on what is change.
- Change is abstract and we can never know the form that it was taking before its evolution.
- Change can either go fast or slow and we don’t know when it will change its pace.
- Change is immovable – regardless on whether you have lots of power or not.
- Change means either a transformation or removal of energies that don’t serve us anymore.
- Change is an intelligent concept because it is an assertion of the universe when we think that we’re capable of handling everything on our own.
- Change can be a collection of assumptions and actions that were made by yourself, your ancestors, and the people that surrounded both parties.
Challenging change can be almost as synonymous as twisting fate and fighting the universe. When one goes against something that is abstract and immovable, they can never achieve true personal growth because it’s as if as they are redefining nature. Even though they don’t have the power nor the capacity to to do so, such pretention caused by the over obsession to the concept of free will makes their life stagnant, and whatever disarray that they may have been experiencing even before will never reorganize and give birth to a new reality. This goes against the idea of chaos theory as well (you know, the butterfly effect).
Chaos theory suggests that small actions create different magnanimous effects either to the environment or the self. They are often aggravated or influenced by external factors. However, when things change, the chaos eventually calms down because certain triggers are being allowed to affect the path of the original subject. All variables included in a system within systems will then stabilize and allow the path to end in a determined point. This means that if a person pretends that their status, mindset, and actions cannot be changed by anything, they may not even end on their preferred path. They might even regress, if we are looking at it in a linear fashion.
A perfect example was my 2022 and 2023 me. Because of my desire to finish my degree on time and to handle being a breadwinner at the same time, I ended up staying in a relationship that broke me with such intensity. I tarnished my academic records even further because I thought I’d be able to finish my thesis, I lost a job, and I even burned out so much that I almost went back to zero in terms of my spiritual journey. The ending? I took a leave of absence from university, became single, and experienced a harder financial hurdle. I ended up focusing on being a provider – which was supposed to be the original plan all along. How did I know that it was? Because my closest friends saw the bigger picture and kept on telling me that I should just focus on one thing. It took me a long while to recuperate from this “loss”; and, I wouldn’t advise you doing a similar thing. I had to remove energies that didn’t serve me anymore with so much intensity that it took a toll on me for quite some time.
There’s only thing to do: flow with it. If you have the capacity to plan, then you also can determine the potential risks of resisting change; and, often times, it’s not worth it. I also think that in order to be one with it, there should be no such thing as coping with change. It is not inevitable and shouldn’t be an obstacle in the first place. Coping can only mean the survival after experiencing something. And, if means that change is the only constant variable in the universe, then does that mean that the entire point of your life is survival? Of course, not. Coping can only mean resistance in another form.
When we say “flow”, it means also allowing the different speeds of the pace. There will be times that you will constantly experience change so quickly that you won’t even have the time nor the energy to comprehend the meaning of it all. You will sometimes experience this vibrant energy of just doing things almost simultaneously. However, there will be moments that you’ll consider routine or mundane. The purpose of having this slowness is for you to process everything that has happened, for your body to recuperate, and for you to be able to regain your senses toward small things. Of course, you will never know when things pick up or slows down. You will only catch up when you’re in the middle of it.
It is an intelligent concept because we can only do so much preparation; and, oftentimes, our plans get discarded because they were either not needed in the first place or there are too many variables that our system wasn’t able to account. In all honesty, you can only go so far as lowering the risks of potential consequences from your actions. You can put safeguards on yourself, projects, and plans; but, you only really have to think about how you’ll be able to stay true to yourself and not lose sight of the bigger picture when things go down the drain.
Here’s how can you prepare for life’s inevitable changes:
- Your survival is not the goal; growth is. Cultivate your mindset and view change as an opportunity to bettering yourself and your environment. Do not fear change and stay curious instead. Curiosity might even encourage you to change paths, depending on what you need, want and what your intuition tells you.
- Empower yourself by thinking that you’re one with the change; and, that nothing else remains except that and your true self.
- Embrace change once it’s there.
- Do not be so stiff in terms of the end that you want. Manage transitions instead.
- Enable channels where you can regulate your emotions in a safe way and in a manner that does not disrupt change experiencing you and you experiencing change.
- Allow yourself to rest and defragment during transitions. Practice determining the lessons of the changes that you have experienced in order to be more equipped on what’s to come.
- Continuously build your resilience by experiencing change over and over again.
- Learn to let go of the past and be present in the moment. Dismiss all unrealistic expectations and assumptions that you may have because they might not even right and intended for you in the first place. When you have no more space for more growth, it’s time to declutter your spaces.
You don’t simply make life changes, life changes you. Every decision, event, and unexpected twist pushes you beyond your comfort zone, compelling you to confront and redefine your strengths, values, and beliefs. It continuously tests your resilience and challenges the boundaries of your understanding, shaping you into a more refined, capable version of yourself. If you don’t let change happen in your life, you will never find nor experience growth – for this is born from discomfort, from stepping into the unknown and the abstract, and from embracing the transformation that it demands you to have..
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